Friday, November 27, 2015

Look Fanfic! (Act of Courage)

Hey all! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and a good holiday break. ^.^

Andddd you actually can not beleive your own eyes because....... Saphira is posting FANFICTION!!?!?!?!

WHAT.

The last time I posted anything remotely fanficish was like what, last month? So sorry everyone! D: I get really distracted by other things, and then I get uninspired. It's bad.

But -gasp- I actually have something fanfiction for you all!!!

-happy dance-

The cover is wayyy to dramatic, but I thought it looked cool, so there. :D
It's very short (it's a blurb), but it's obviously hobbit/ Thorin feels related. I love Thorin okay guys. This was also an attempt to get myself back into a Hobbit mood so I could actually finish my real fic.
XD

It is written in the style that I used to write in, with short sentences, and virtually no paragraphs to speak of. I recently discovered that I like it that way. :P  It makes it seem a lot more simpler, and a bit easier to read. (for me at least) 

So yes, no writing post for today! -yippee-


Setting: In Lake town, after Kili has been shot by a poisoned arrow, the company waits for the next morning to depart for the mountain. Thorin knows not what to do with his wounded nephew, and makes a difficult choice. Thorin's POV. 






I sat awake.


Thinking.


I couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. Dis said that thinking too much would be my downfall. That I thought too much and spoke too bluntly for my own good.


It very well might be.  


I fingered the rough blanket that covered me and shifted to get into a more comfortable position.


I let out a breath.


Kili.


What was I to do with him?


So far, he was the only one who had gotten seriously injured.


An arrow wound to the right knee.


He never complained or showed much pain, but I could tell that he was dying inside. Dying from exhaustion of trying to keep a happy denamor.


I knew why.


In his head, the only thing that mattered was getting to the mountain. In his heart, he had to be there.


But he was dying. He needed rest. He needed to recover.


Soon.


I shut my eyes.


Tomorrow was our only chance. Would he recover in time?


A tiny hope in my heart told me yes.


The dire circumstance told me no.


What was I to do?


This had been Kili’s dream, I couldn’t just take it from him.


I shuddered and pulled the blankets closer around me.


He will be fine in the morning, my thoughts reassured, he will be there.


Will he?


And what if he does get there?


When we look upon the halls of our fathers.


When we finally open the door.


When we find the dragon.


What then?


What happens when the dragon pursues us and we are left to every dwarf for himself.


What happens when the strongest and fastest live and the slowest are burnt into oblivion?


Despite myself, I shuddered violently and gasped as an image of Kili being overtaken by fire burned an image into my mind.


No.


No.


That is not to happen.


I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and my eyes flew open as I tensed.


“Uncle.” Fili’s voice.


I relaxed.


“Are you alright?” Fili asked.


I rolled over onto my back, “I’m fine, go to sleep.”


My blonde nephew obediently slunk back to where his brother slept, and laid down next to Kili to share heat.


I sighed and looked at them.


What would Fili say?


When I told them in the morning that Kili was to stay behind and rest, would Fili stay as well?


I expected no less from him.


They were brothers, and were almost inseparable.


A small part of me wanted for Fili to come along, and I hoped that he might decide to join us, but I had to expect the unavoidable.


I slowly closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would come.


But it didn’t.


I imagined what the next morning’s dialogue would be.


I would tell Kili that he was staying, and he would give me that half-smile of his, where he was trying to convince himself that I was lying, but deep down he knew that my word was law.


“No, I’m coming with you, like planned.”


“Kili, stay here and recover,” I would cover up my hurting heart with a smile that couldn’t even fool Kili, “Join us when you are healed.”


Kili wouldn’t smile, just give me that look of utter betrayal that had swayed me when he had been younger, when I was going to take Fili for pony riding and I wasn’t going to bring him.


He wouldn’t understand. He didn’t need to.


I just had to know that he was safe, and was healing.


Oin might offer to stay with Kili to aid with the healing, and I would feel better about that.


Fili would glance at me, a look of confusion and indignantly, “But he must come with us!”


“No.” Their childish persuasions would not move me any longer, although they still tugged at my heart like a sore wound, “He must stay here and recover.”


When he is upset, Fili doesn’t say anything, but does whatever he sees fit.


He would get up and march over to Kili, giving me a betrayed look over his shoulder.


I wouldn’t take it to heart, Fili would know in time the purpose of my decisions.


I wouldn’t object. Just observe.


I sighed and opened my eyes again to the dim light of the room.


I would have to be harsh, they wouldn’t take me seriously if I wasn’t.


I dreaded the sunrise, when we would have to wake.


Dress.


Eat.


Arm.


Go out to the boat.


And leave Kili to dream only of a mountain he never saw.







“You do realise we are one short, where’s Bofur?”  The burglar's concerned voice drifted from behind me as I shoved through the crowd of humans.


“If he’s not here, we leave him behind.” I hated what I said.


“If we are to reach the door by nightfall,” Balin supported behind me. “We must risk no more delays.”


I heard nothing else from the burglar, and knew that he had to be satisfied with that.


The cold morning air bit at my nose, but I hardly felt it.


I had not gotten the chance to talk with Kili.


He was ready like the rest of us.


How would I tell him now?


The chatter was defining and annoying as we reached the boat and began to unload the supplies.


A few dwarves jumped into the boat, Nori first, then Dori.


That’s when I saw Kili, prepared to go onto the boat like the rest.


I quickly stopped him by grasping his shoulder with my right hand, “Not you.”


The words came out harsher than expected, and I didn’t look into Kili’s eyes as he stared at me.


I knew that he was shocked.


“We must travel with speed, you will slow us down.” I let go of his shoulder and tossed a bunch of supplies into the boat.


Kili’s gaze never left my face and a half-smile spread across his face, “What are you talking about, I’m coming with you.”


He said it like a statement.


I glanced at him quickly, giving a quick shake of my head, “No.”


I tossed another piece of equipment onto the boat. I saw Fili look up at us still on the dock, a confused expression overtaking his face.


I ignored him.


I turned to face Kili, who’s smile slowly faded.I waited patiently for his response.


It came quickly, “I’m going to be there when that door is opened.”


I swallowed, not changing my expression.


“When we first look upon the halls of our fathers-” Kili’s voice was on the verge of breaking.


“No Kili.” I quickly intervened before he could say more and placed my left hand on his shoulder.


“Stay here. Rest.” I plastered on that fake smile as Kili looked at me in disbelief, “Join us when you are healed.”


I moved my left hand onto his thick brown hair, trying to instill some type of comfort.


Kili’s already tired eyes became clouded.


He stared at me as if he didn’t fully comprehend what I had just told him.


Reluctantly, I removed my hand from him and turned away, not wanting to see his hurt face any longer.


Oin saw and without spoken word, began to climb out of the boat, “I’ll stay with the lad. My loyalty lies with the wounded.”


Everyone on the boat watched him as he stepped out and walked over to Kili.


“Uncle.” Fili’s voice.


I looked down to see his piercing blue gaze stare at me.


“We grew up with tales of the mountain, tales you told us!”


I sighed inwardly.


“You can not take that away from him!” Fili was close to breaking as well.


“Fili-” I began, but my nephew cut me off.


“I will carry him if I must!”


I knew he would.


An image flashed in my mind of fire overtaking both Fili and Kili.I brushed it off.


“One day you will be king and you will understand.” I told him.


Fili didn’t break my gaze, as if to ask, ‘that’s your explanation?’


“I can not risk the fate of this quest for the sake of one dwarf.” I felt my gut twist, “Even my own kin.”


Fili glanced over at where Kili was, a determined expression on his face. So he was staying.


Fili instantly stepped out of the boat, but I caught him by the arm, “Fili don’t be a fool.” I heard myself say, “You belong with the company.”


For some reason, I felt as if he needed to be there.


But Fili stared into my eyes and simply stated, “I belong with my brother.”


I let go of his arm almost at the same time that he wrenched free. I watched him march over to Kili, who was clutching his leg.


Although I knew that it wasn’t only his leg that pained him.



I barely heard the noise of the trumpets and the loud cheering as we sailed out of Laketown.


Everyone waved, and even the burglar tipped his pointed hat to the crowd.


But I could hardly smile.


We reached the open water, and Nori turned us towards the mountain.I stared at the water passing by, lost in my own thoughts.


I was interrupted by Dwalin, who placed a hand on my shoulder, “Are you alright?”


I sighed, “No.”


There was a silence.


“This wasn’t your fault Thorin.” Balin said.


I glared at the water and didn’t respond.


Was it?


The quiet was annoying. Obviously everyone was listening.


“I’m sorry about Bofur.” Bilbo added.


His voice was almost comforting, but not enough.


No one knew what to say after that. They all eventually mingled around the small boat, doing nothing in particular.


It was so silent when we were only missing four members.


Dwalin finally brought up the courage to speak to me, “Can’t say that I’m sorry, but that was very brave of you.”


Brave?


“They will be fine, Oin and Bofur will take care of them.” Dwalin continued.


Will they?


“Kili will recover and he’ll be up there with us soon.”


I nodded, more out of instinct than anything.


Dwalin sighed, “I hope Fili will be alright though.”


I turned to look at my friend who continued, “He’s never been one to stay home and tend to the sick.”


Dwalin chuckled, “But he is very loyal to Kili. I’d say that he would carry him all around Erebor just to make him happy.”

I allowed the faintest of smiles, “Yes.” 

I glanced at the mountain before us, “I would expect nothing less.”








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A/N: I wrote this after seeing the Hobbit: DOS, and reading a lot of hate on Thorin for this scene. I came to realise that Thorin thinks a lot, but doesn't often state why or what he is thinking about.

I've read a few things that target Thorin saying that "he doesn't care about his nephews, because he didn't let them go to the mountain. If he was caring about them, he would have taken Kili no matter how awful he felt, because that is what Kili wanted the most."

I would like to object by stating that in this scene, that as I watched Thorin, it was clear that the only thing on his mind was the safety of his nephews.

That's all. :)

Have a great weekend everyone! Don't forget to check out this month's featured Blog My Own Little World, since this month is just about over. Ahhhh.

Keep smiling! -Saphira

2 comments:

  1. Oh Sam . . . *sighs* That was beautiful. And so sad. I love that scene so much. {Mainly for the amazing "I belong with my brother" Fili moment. ^-^ [Can you tell who's my favorite? XD]}
    *tears fill eyes as she hugs fanfic*
    Now, whenever I see this scene, I will totally think of this.
    Thank you. ^-^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha yeah, Fili is one of the best big brothers ever. ^.^ That moment is one of the greatest too, considering their relationship and all. :D
      Glad you liked it!
      Awww, you made me so happy with your comment. :D
      Thank you for taking the time to read and share your comment as well Hope!

      Delete

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