Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Installment 12

This is the end of the first section. No this is not the end of Thorin, just the end of the section. :) There are three of them, so be patient.

This one is relatively short, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! -Saphira


The next week, I got considerably worse.

Most of my wounds got infected, and those that didn’t caused me unbearable pain anyway.

I got a fever, and Dis was constantly caring for me, along with the doctor, who showed no fear around me, despite our last incident.

I was either sleeping or delusional, so I hardly noticed all the women in the house, or Balin, and Dwalin when they came to visit everyday.

Dis told me that Bofur also paid me visits, and stayed by my side for hours every day, but when I said that I had no memory of it, Dis cried.

When I actually slept, I had nightmares about the battle, and woke up sweating and yelling.

When I was actually awake and could perceive my surroundings, no one was there except some women I hardly knew.

One time, I broke out of my state and saw Fili, playing on the floor with some new toy Bofur had given him.

I watched him for awhile, before he started singing about his new toy.

His little voice lulled me back to sleep, and all I dreamed about was him, nothing about the Wargs attacking the camp.

Another time, I woke in the late evening, and saw Balin and Dwalin comforting Dis at the table, while a few women milled about preparing to leave.

I could hardly make out Dis’s words, but heard, “....and the doctor said that..that there was a chance that he might not make it..and...I’m so worried! What if he dosen’t? I don’t think...”

“He is strong, lass.” Came Balin’s compassionate voice, “ Reay is skilled and we have sent for the doctor from the North.”

“But he’s been unconscious for two days! I....I..”

Balin put an arm around her as she broke down into tears.

Dwalin said nothing and glanced over at me, when he saw me looking at him, he quickly turned to Dis, “He’s awake.”

Dis was at my side in an instant, “Oh Thorin! Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

I tried to respond, but all that came out was a cough.

“Can you hear us lad?” Balin came over as well.

I nodded, “....Dis....”

She took a hold of my shoulder, “Yes?”

“....How am I?”

She glanced back at Balin, who said, “Your wounds are infected, it will take time to heal.”

“How long have I been like this?”

“Two weeks.” Dwalin answered.

I blinked, “Really?”

Dis couldn’t take it anymore and burst into tears, “Thorin! Please get better! I can’t go on like this!”

She sobbed on Balin, who seemed used to this, and Dwalin said, “She has fainted three times already.”

“Oh.” I suddenly got worried.

Dis had fainted three times?

I coughed again and winced.

“I’m sorry Dis.”

Instead of answering Dis cried harder.

Balin stroked her hair and tried to comfort her, “Get some sleep lad.” He encouraged.

“No!” Dis burst out, then turning form Balin, she knelt down next to the cot and wept on me.

Her warm tears stung my wounds, but I tried not to show it.

I hesitantly laid my hand on her shaking form, “Dis..”

She slowly glanced up at me, “What if you never wake again? I....it’s just like Aili....I....I never got to say goodbye...”

She collapsed into sobs again, and I felt tears come to my own eyes.

“Lass...don’t hurt yourself.” Balin came over and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Dis didn’t seem comforted.

After a while, as Dis began to calm down, I turned to the brothers, “Thank you for all you have done. You may leave now.”

Both nodded, then with many a backwards glance, walked out into the night.

Except for Dis’s crying, the house was quiet.

I stroked her hair, lulling myself to sleep.

Finally, my hand dropped off her head, as I was too tired to do anything.

Her crying finally came to an end, as I closed my eyes.

With a few sniffles, Dis began to comb her hands through my hair.

After a bit, she began to sing in ancient dwarvish, a song that she and Fili would sing almost every night, with Aili playing on the violin.

Eventually, I dropped off to sleep, and for the first time in a long while, I had no dreams.

The next week, I was almost recovered.

I could now stand and walk around, although the doctor advised that I be off my feet for most of the day.

Dis was relieved, and became a little happier.

Fili was happy as well, especially now that more and more people were coming over to play with him.

Kili seemed to also sense the change.

As the days progressed, and got colder, we tended to stay indoors more, while letting Dwalin go and chop wood for us, even though I promised to myself that the day the doctor said I could go out, I would go and get wood.

That feeling of helplessness had overcome me again.

My bandages needed to be changed less often, and I could now wear shirts over them, as they weren't so bulky.

No matter how terrible I felt, I would never pass up a time to play with Fili, and Dis would have to remind me not to injure myself again.

The days grew happier as the first snow came, and the doctor said that I was now free to go outside.

I bundled up according to Dis’s instructions, and went out with Dwalin to go chop wood to bring back.

It wasn’t as much as I had wanted, but the feeling of helplessness had left me.

As we came home, we were attacked by Fili, who had made a snow fort while we were gone.

He threw snowballs at us, and we couldn’t help but drop all our wood and make snowballs of our own to protect ourselves with.

Dwalin and I purposely missed Fili, by either throwing the snowballs into our faces, throwing them into the sides of the house or at each other.

Fili laughed so hard, he fell over into the snow, and we had to dig him out.

But it was still fun.

We entered the house, covered in snow, hauling Fili and a bunch of logs, and so cold, we couldn't feel our toes.

But Dis and Balin made us all some hot chocolate and we were soon all sitting by the fire, sipping warm drinks and laughing.

The women that Dis had recruited to help me, were all sent home as we hardly needed their help anymore, but every once in awhile, Hagre or Nolla would come and check on us.

Balin and Dwalin came over almost every night, sometimes hauling with them Bofur, and occasionally Dori.

We would all have dinner together, then sit by the fire, with coffee for Bofur, tea for Balin, Dwalin, Dis and Dori, and hot chocolate for Fili.

We would talk late into the night, until Fili fell asleep on Dwalin or Bofur’s lap.

Then they would leave, thanking Dis for the wonderful meal, and offering for us to come to their homes sometimes.

Then it would just be us, and after Fili and Kili were put to bed, Dis and I sat by the fire until it burned low, then both went to bed.

Those were my favorite nights.

Sometimes, Fili got bad dreams and curled up into bed next to me, and I didn’t even notice until the next morning.

He never told me what those bad dreams were about, but I sometimes heard him talking to Dis about his dreams about me dying just like daddy.

Of course, after that, I often woke to Dis, Fili, and Kili all in my bed, with their own blankets tight about them.

I didn’t object to it.

I never mentioned it to Dis, but sometimes, I still had dreams about the trip that almost claimed my life.

But when I woke, I often found my sister and nephews all in the bed next to me, sleeping.

The prospect brought me comfort that I wasn’t alone.

And at night, I found myself being able to sleep easier.

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Oh! And a happy New Year everyone! :) -Saphira


  1. Great chapter, Saphira! Love the emotion. Emotion is really fun but pretty hard to write right, and you hit it right on! Awesome job :)
    Okay, sorry 'bout not commenting on the chapters. I've read them, but I'm reading on the Tablet, so I don't log out of my mom's account to comment with mine. So that's why I haven't commented before. Sorry!
    And the battles are sure brutal! With the blood spurting everywhere an' all... *shudder* Ew. And aw at the same time. It's horrible, how everybody (well, almost) died.
    Thorin is pretty cool, too. I like his attitude. His strength, but he still is so sorry when bad things follow. That's a good leader, I'd say. Was it hard to write his parts? I mean, there are so many ways you can interpret his character. You can make him a proud, cantankerous, quite an angry burdened man (erm, Dwarf). Or he can be more family oriented, which I see you did (you agree?).
    I also like how you carried it on, instead of just stopping with Aili's death.
    Can't wait for the next chapter :)

  2. Thanks! I'm sorry I don't comment on your blog either. (although I really like it! ) I'm glad you liked the emotion, It's really hard to get it to the right pitch if you know what I mean. :) Sorry about all the blood.....Although, for me, those are some of the easiest scenes to write. I'm glad you like this so far.
    It wasn't very hard to write his parts. I just put myself in his shoes and thought of what I would do if I were him in those situations. Not really the killing of the orcs parts though. :)
    Thanks again for commenting D! -Saphira

  3. Smaug's scales! (<--an excamation to be used in incredible instances ;) Dear girl, have you the foggiest notion how many feels you've given me throughout my reading of this tale? Far too many to reckon! A slight picturing of how hard Thorin being so deeply wounded impacts Dis sends waves of sympathy from my heart. Some may say that fictional characters can't be real, but I like to think that they exist in another reality. It may be a ridiculous idea, but with that in mind, one can find dimension to your fanfiction.
    Now, I don't mean to go over-the-top with my thoughts, but I tend to have a penchant for emotionally attaching myself to characters in stories, and this is an exception not in the slightest. It is almost heart-wrenching to read of Thorin undergoing this pain; I commend you for writing it so well!
    And Fili's sweet innocence throughout lightens the dramatic feel; his an unreplacable part. :) It makes me sad to think of him having dreams of Thorin dying. Yes, it gave me the feels. But I love how you ended with the Dis and the lads joining Thorin in his bed, helping him to sleep easier.

    God bless!

    Les x

  4. I've never been able to write in 1st person too well and always seemed to like 3rd person better. But I guess I actually do like 1st person:) I guess it just takes a great story to get it out of me;)


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