Friday, November 22, 2013

Installment 4

Sorry I haven't been doing these as often, I'll try to post one at least every week.

Enjoy! -Saphira


I covered Aili's body with a blanket and then stood.
I blinked back tears and then took a shaky breath.

I moved Aili outside to the shed and wrapped him in a bunch of cloth.

I went about everything mechanically, as I had when burying my grandfather.

But Aili had been different.

He had been my friend.

And never lived to see his second child.

Fili was so young.

Dis was so young.

I blamed it on myself.

Why couldn’t I have gotten the strength to protect him?

He would still be alive.

Where was the doctor?

Why didn’t I insist that the doctor’s wife come with me?


I walked back to the house, and went in, closing the door behind me.

Thorin, be brave for Dis.

I calmed myself and with a sigh, headed back to the kitchen.

Dis was still sitting there, and Fili was on the floor playing.

I took a deep breath and walked up to Fili.


The boy looked up.

“Did Father say anything to you?”

Fili beamed, “Yes, before he went to sleep, he told me to take care of Mother and the new baby.....and ...and you...and to grow up big and strong and to eat my vegetables.”

I smiled.

Of course Aili would tell his son with his dying breath to eat his veggies.

“Anything else?”

“No..” Fili mused, “ I told him I would and then said goodnight, and he just smiled and then went to bed. Do you think that’s good?”

I tried to smile as I sat down.

“Fili, do you know what a soul is?”

Dis whipped around.


I looked up at her and didn’t smile.

She caught the look and gasped, “Oh no....Aili!”

I jumped up and caught her as she ran for the living room.

“Dis, seeing him will do you no good. He’s gone.”

Dis collapsed in my arms and sobbed, “No! No! Thorin! He isn’t dead! He isn’t!”

She dissolved into tears as I held her and tried not to cry as well.

After a while of seeing his mother weep, Fili asked, “What’s dead?”

I swallowed. Little Fili didn’t know what was happening.

“Oh  Fili...” Dis sobbed.

I bit my lip and turned to him as I sat Dis down on a chair.

“Fili, dead is...when you’re soul leaves your body and goes heaven.”

Fili frowned in confusion, “What’s a soul?”

I held back tears, “’s kind of like your heart.”

“Oh, did Father’s soul go away?”

Dis covered her face and sobbed.

“Yes Fili.”

“Oh.” He then asked, “Will we see him again?”

I swallowed, “That’s just it Fili, he....he can’t come back.”

Fili looked downcast then glanced up at me, “What’s heaven?”

I choked back tears, “Well Fili, heaven is a place you go too when your soul dies and..”

I looked down at Dis, who was weeping, and I swallowed.

“It’s a place where it’s always happy and nobody cries and there are all the deer you can hunt.”

“Thorin...” Dis cried, but then couldn’t go on and wept on my shoulder.

“So Father went there?”

“Yes Fili.”

“Oh, Alright, Can I talk to him?”

I pondered that, “Perhaps.”

Fili brightened, “Alright!”

He walked over and hugged Dis saying, “It’s alright Mother, I’m sure Father still loves you!”

I bit my lip, stood, and left the kitchen.

I aimlessly wandered around my room.

Not really thinking.

I was numb.

I didn’t know how long I was in my room, but once I came out, I saw Dis cleaning the blood off the couch.

Her eyes were red from crying.

I watched her for a bit before kneeling down next to her.

“You should get some sleep.” I said.

Dis sniffed and didn't move.

I put my arm gently around her and lifted her up to her feet.

She sobbed as I put her down in a chair.

Fili came out of his room with his toy horse Bofur had made for him.


“Yes Fili?” I sat down next to Dis and glanced at him.

“Will you tell me now where babies come from?”

“No Fili, not now.”


Fili walked up to Dis and climbed up into her lap.

And we shared a moment of silence.

The doctor came later, but couldn't do anything.

I felt like choking him, but restrained myself.

Doing that wouldn't help anything right now.

I shut myself in my room after he had left, and stared up at the ceiling, thinking.


I didn’t know when I had fallen asleep, but I woke to Dis sitting down on the bed.

I sat up, “What is it?”

She gasped, “How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Get up so fast?”

“Did I?”


I sighed and stretched, “How long was I asleep?”

“A few hours.” Dis replied.

I saw that her eyes were still red.

I said nothing.

Fili poked his head in, and seeing me awake, trotted over to the bed.

“How was your sleep?” He asked.

I briefly remembered that that was the same term he had used for Aili.


Fili beamed. “That’s good."

Dis stroked his blonde hair and sighed.

He jumped up onto the bed and snuggled up next to Dis.

I smiled and placing my feet over the edge of the bed, kissed Fili’s little head and stood up to go to the kitchen.

I found some cakes Dis had made earlier and taking a few, I ate them at the table.

Aili’s pipe was sitting on the chair next to me.

I reached down and picked it up.

After looking at it for awhile, I sighed and pocketed it.

I would give it to Dis later.  

I finished the cakes and just sat there, thinking.

Dis walked out of my room carrying Fili.

I looked up and she smiled briefly.  

Fili was asleep on her shoulder.

She sat down in a rocking chair and rocked Fili.

She tried to sing, but couldn’t and began to cry.

I stood, washed my hands and went out.

It was a nice day.

Warm, a bit breezy and comfortable.

Perfect weather for a nice walk.

But I didn’t move, I was lost in thought.

I didn’t know how long I stood there, but it had gotten later once I heard Dis call me.


I slowly turned and walked back into the house.

“Yes Dis?”

I closed the door behind me.

“Could you take Fili?”

I silently walked over to her and picked sleeping Fili off of her lap.

She sighed and leaned back, then stood up and stretched.

“Thank you.”


I took Fili into his room and set him gently on his bed.

Taking the blanket I covered him up.

Fili opened his eyes, “Uncle Thorin?”


“Who will be my father now? Will I get another one?”

I sighed and smiled, “I can be your Father Buh, if you want."

“Oh.” Fili giggled, “I will like that.”

He snuggled under the covers and was soon fast asleep.
Sorry it ended awkwardly..... :) -Saphira


  1. Cuteness overload. Well in the last part at least. :D I love this book so much. This is quickly turning into one of my favorite books. :D

    P. S. - Here I am commenting on all of your posts. :D That's kinda what I do. :)

  2. I agree with Hope *CUTENESS OVERLOAD* Quick question, how do you pronounce 'Buh'? :)


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